When one thing after another happens to create poor health or difficulties in life we often can end up asking ‘why me’? It’s doesn’t tend to be a question we ask when things are going right, for instance, if you won the lottery would you be saying ‘why me’? Or would you be organising the party to celebrate, obviously on the understanding it was worth more than a tenner to you.
But let’s face it, things happen all the time, and more often than not we easily deal with them, getting through another day of incidents that we don’t pay that much attention to. It’s when life seems to get harder for some reason, and these incidents just seem to become the next mountain to traverse. We all know them because at some point we all go through them.
When you start to say ‘why me’, you are moving your internal power into a one where you are playing the victim, you are saying the situation is out of your control. This more often than not isn’t the case, it’s more the fact that it’s just become overwhelming at that point, and extremely stressful. But it’s not beyond you to be able to deal with it, we all know things happen and we get through them daily, weekly, even yearly, and often wonder how on earth we did it. But you did, and you will. So asking questions such as ‘why me’, are not helpful in moving you forward, because all it does is leaves you dwelling on the thing that you don’t want, rather than the thing you do want.
When we move away from that type of questioning, we stop thinking that life is out to get us, it probably isn’t even though sometimes it feels like it can be, we stop thinking we have no control, it might feel like its freewheeling down a hill, but you are fast enough to keep up and catch it. I promise you, because when we gain our control over these situations or learn to deal with them, we have faced more often than not our biggest challenge. It’s these challenges that give us strength, it’s these moments where we know that getting through them will be one of the most amazing things you will ever do for yourself. It will enable you to know you are the creator of your own life, you move into becoming the inspiration in your own life, and the hero at that point.
Whilst being ill you have to pay attention to your thoughts, and this is where mindfulness comes into its own because you have to watch every moment. I believe that 90% of health is in the mind, what you think matters, it’s not just about what you eat and drink but about what you think. The language you use matters with yourself and others. Our language can be the big giveaway that we are not well within ourselves, ‘why me’ is a great place to stop yourself. These thoughts once focused on mindfully will be the start of your health success, as you strengthen the mind you strengthen the body. The body-mind isn’t separate, they are intertwined, and impact on one another continually.
If you want to keep control then stop asking ‘why me’, and ask ‘what can I now do’? I was told by a manager I worked for, many years ago now, ‘I don’t want to know what you can’t do, I want to know what you can do’. It was very hard to accept but it was great advice, so what can you do now? What can I learn from this moment? See the future, visualise what you want instead and start to become passionate about it, by raising your desire and passion for something we become excited and energised about what we can do instead. We can then start to create what we want instead. I’m not saying this is easy, but asking yourself ‘why me’ has probably become a bad habit, and it needs to be stopped, a bit like smoking it’s just not good for you.
We can fool the body with our minds, we can start to use visualisation to set the scene for what you do want instead, allow this to get the body ready for a more positive outcome. It also helps us to create more positive actions towards that new focus. Vivid imaginations ignite the fire within us, they create the desire to change, and they help to ignite more ideas of what we could do. Because it helps the mind to consider what you could do, not what you couldn’t do.
The latest kid on the block is mindfulness, but this is all about watching your language!